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INTRODUCTION...
(* updated to current)

I have completed over 16,000 (*17,000) adoption cases in my twenty-two (*26) years of uniting adoptees and birth parents, and this case is my all-time favorite. It has everything. It is the story of Jeanne, a sixteen-year-old girl who gave birth to a daughter, had it taken away from her, and was told that she would never see her daughter again. It tells of her suffering and tears as she grew older, and how everything that happened in her life would bring back the memories of the precious baby she never saw and would never get to meet. It tells of the six years she would spend searching for the child and how many times she would be told she had no right to find her, in spite of the fact that she never willingly gave her up. Her sin was being too young to have any control over what happened to her daughter.

Finally she gave up searching on her own and called me. The State of New York was extremely difficult when it came to opening records for birth moms. Jeanne told me that her own mother had cervical and breast cancer which did not take her life, but she eventually died of a heart attack. Now she was even more determined to find her daughter in order to make her aware of this. The medical history was what we needed. That, of course, was enough to petition the court, even though in New York it was extremely difficult to do. The child had a right to this knowledge. The case was heard by a caring judge who ordered the records unsealed and appointed me as the intermediary. When I told Jeanne about the judge's decision, I had never heard anyone express such joy.

The next step was to find Karen, the birth daughter. To be honest, I expected a resounding "Yes, I want to see my mother!" Instead, I was told "No, I already have a mother." I could tell by her voice she was the image of Jeanne, and I could sense her sweetness and tenderness over the telephone. She, however, would not give in, as she did not want to hurt her adoptive parents. I was disappointed. I felt as if I had made no impact on her and could not change her mind. I even talked to her new husband, but it seemed to me that nothing worked.

Jeanne was devastated, as was I. She did not know that as she was crying on one end of the phone, tears were also streaming down mine on this end. I told her to be patient. This was obviously a shock to Karen, and I felt that if some time passed it could still prove to be a good reunion. However, my words sounded hollow even to me.

A few days later my phone rang, and it was Karen. The result is the touching story that follows. After you read it, you will understand why I say this is my favorite case and why, even at the age of seventy-five, I will never stop reuniting birth mothers and daughters.

This story is a must read for anyone, especially those who have given up a child, those who have been adopted, or those who are adoptive parents.

Pat Rutherford
Private Detective, Worldwide Tracers, Inc.
March, 2003

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If You Think You Are My Daughter
by: Karen Sweet & Jeanne Biedrzycki

About the Authors

Karen Sweet is currently a financial services consultant for a large mid-western bank. She is currently on leave and is a mother and homemaker. She resides in Ohio with her husband, Kevin and son, Brendan.

Jeanne Biedrzycki-Cohen is currently working as private duty nurse. She resides in Upstate New York with her husband, Paul.

Chronicler, Lewis M. Elia is a retired teacher and former associate editor with MPC Educational Publishers of Tarrytown, NY and has two other publications to his credit: The Garlic in the Melting Pot, a memoir and Lord, I am not Worthy, a novel (written under the name of E. M. Lewis) both with Trafford Publishing. He resides in upstate New York with his wife Linda.

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